Don't know what to do with my 16 year old
I have a 16 year old son that has been battling drug and alcohol issues for over a year. This past March has was expelled from the local school for alcohol. We invested in a home schooling program which after 2 weeks he refused to participate in. In June he was hospitalized for "roboing" or using over the counter medications in large quantities. At that point we sent him to a 6 week wilderness program. He stole over the counter medications from the medical supplies while in the wilderness. He returned and is in a small private school in the area. He got his driver's license last week and within a day came home drunk. I monitored his im chat logs over the past weekend and found out he was trying to buy drugs. We sat him down, told him that he would have to follow the rules of our home (no drugs, respect, etc) or leave. He left. He was gone for over a day, but then called and asked to return. We picked him up, he was high. My question is: what do we do? I don't know whether to research and send him to a boarding school that specializes in drug and alcohol issues, or a 28 day program, or put him into the social services system. We are in a state where medically at 14 he is considered an adult, so there are no programs for teenagers here. Well, there are, but they are all voluntary and he is not willing. I can't keep living like this. He lies, he steals, I can't leave him alone in my house. We can't go anywhere because we are afraid to leave him alone. Help!
Dear Trudy,
In spite of our images of what we would like a child to be, there behavior almost without exception always demonstrates their reality. It would seem that your son is consistently asking for help, not necessarily because he is making poor decision but because he is so flagrant about them. Based on the information you have shared I would say you were very much on the right track with the wilderness program. It is rare after just a wilderness program, that a child can return back to the old temptations and succeed in overcoming them. My suggestion would be for you to look into therapeutic boarding school that will bring value to his accomplishments in the wilderness while continuing a 24-7 environment to keep him safe, simple, that is a minimal temptation and give him the opportunity to build constructive relationships with adults and peers. If you would like to discuss this with me feel free to contact me.